I can barely believe I did that. Now I can be added to the list of women at the gym that Derrick has been to bed with.”I took the offered wine, “Did everything go as you expected. Did you enjoy it?”My mom seemed to light up as she answered me, “Arthur, it was glorious. What forty-nine-year-old woman would not want to take a strapping twenty-seven-year-old stud to bed?” Mom looked amused as she added, “Or in her studio for that matter?”“Please Mom, don’t remind me of that day.” Now that my mother had gotten over the distress of that inauspicious day I knew she was going to tease me for the rest of my life. My mother’s erotic illustrations made it quite clear she might consider pleasuring a man in such a manner and in the abstract it was acceptable to me that she would perform such an act with a lover. What was unsettling was the image that was burned into my brain on that afternoon when I walked into her studio unannounced and was confronted with the reality of seeing my mother on her. This married man was fantasizing about me while he was jerking off inthe shower because his wife, whose job it was to look after his sexualneeds, couldn?t care less about him. It made me seethe with anger atwrong it all was. But I have to admit, a part of me felt totallyflattered that this man still saw me as an object of his sexual desire,after all the wrongs I?d committed.But it also made me feel profoundly sorry for him, like he was gettingripped off of something he had a God-given right to expect from hismarriage. I knew if I was Mark?s wife he?d get hot sex from me everysingle day of his life! Like, what was wrong with that stupid bitch,anyway?Now, I know what you?re thinking. That girl Sandra is playing with firehere. It would be just like her to want to help her ex-boyfriend insome way. Maybe even to fill that void in Mark?s life.Well, if that?s what you thought, you?d be right ? that?s exactly how Ifelt. By then I was so caught up in my desire to be close to Mark againthat I.
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